Body Language

Introduction

 "By a man's fingernails, by his coat-sleeve, by his boots, by his trouser-knees, by the calluses of his forefinger and thumb, by his expression, by his shirt-cuffs, by his movements- by each of these things a man's calling is plainly revealed. That all united should fail to enlighten the competent enquirer in any case is almost inconceivable"
-SHERLOCK HOLMES, 1892-

Body language is a form of non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals subconsciously.
Borg attests that human communication consists of 93 percent body language and paralinguistic cues, while only 7% of communication consists of words themselves; however, Albert Mehrabian, the researcher whose 1960s work is the source of these statistics, has stated that this is a misunderstanding of the findings (see Misinterpretation of Mehrabian's rule). Others assert that "Research has suggested that between 60 and 70 percent of all meaning is derived from nonverbal behavior."^[3]
Body language may provide clues as to the attitude or state of mind of a person. For example, it may indicate aggression, attentiveness, boredom, relaxed state, pleasure, amusement, and intoxication, among many other cues.

 

Some basic gestures

Mother: "Listen up."

Daughter: "Lemme outa here."

"I'm surprised!"

"Well, I'm shocked!"

"You're wrong!" "No, you're wrong!"

"Bummed."

 

			"All right!" Even though his fist is clenched, you can tell that this dude's way happy.

"I don't know why I even bother going out with you!"    Attentive Body Language    When you are in conversation or otherwise attending to what others are saying or doing, you body sends signals to the other person as to how interested you really are. Attentive body language sends a strong signal of real and deep interest that is both flattering and likely to result in reciprocal attention. It was said that if you met with the English 19th century politician William Gladstone, you would come away thinking he was the most intelligent and witty person in the country. If, however, you met his peer Benjamin Disraeli, then you would come away thinking that you were the most intelligent and witty person. Disraeli, it would seem, was somewhat more skilled at paying attention.   Listening A person who is attentive is first of all listening. This can be of varying intensity though attentive listening is deep and interested. Ignoring distractions There are many competing stimuli that demand our attention. If a person ignores distraction, from phone calls to other people interrupting, then they send strong  and flattering 'I am interested in you' signals. Stillness Body movement often betrays distracting thoughts and feelings. When the listener is largely still, the implication is of forgetting everything else except the other person, with not even internal dialogue being allowed to distract. Leaning forward When I am interested in you and what you have to say I will likely lean slightly towards you, perhaps better to hear everything you have to say. Tilted head An attentive head may be tilted slightly forward. It also may show curiosity when tilted to the side (although this may also indicate uncertainty). Gaze An attentive person looks at the other person without taking their gaze away. They will likely blink less, almost for fear of missing something. Furrowed brow Concentration may also be shown in the forehead as the eyebrows are brought together as the listener seeks to hear and understand the other person. Wanting more An attentive person seeks not just to hear but to be ready to listen to everything the other person has to say. Patience When you want to hear more from the other person you are patient, listening until they have finished speaking and not butting in with your views. Even when you have something to say or when they pause, you still patiently seek a full understanding of them and give them space in which to complete what they have to say. Open body Open body language shows that you are not feeling defensive and are mentally open to what they have to say (and hence not closed to their thoughts). Slow nodding Nodding shows agreement and also encourages the other person to keep talking. Fast nodding may show impatience, whilst a slower nod indicates understanding and approval. Interest noises Little noises such as 'uh huh' and 'mmm' show that you are interested, understand and want to hear more. They thus encourage the other person to keep talking. Reflecting When you reflect the other person back to them they feel affirmed and that you are aligned with them. Reflecting activities range from matching body language to paraphrasing what they say.